The Heart of the Matter
by Radi Berra
Summary: [oneshot][AsuJud]I love you. But how can I tell you?


_I love GX, so I decided to write a GX fic. This is a JudaixAsuka one-shot. I do not own GX, nor do I own anything at all, really. Well, this fic, yeah. Anyway, please R&R. I write this to be replied to, not so it can be ignored, okay? Pleeeease? Also, keep in mind that this is my first attempt at romance. x.X_

_**The Heart of the Matter**_

_**-Ladyvella42**_

_"You don't remember me but I remember you_

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

_But who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do..." - Evanescence_

_**---**_

Yuki Judai sat on the edge of the pier, staring out at the waves whispering through the midnight's ocean. The moonlight reflected on the crawling waves, almost unnaturally.

_So beautiful. And so calm. And she's so smart..._

He shook his head. All he could think about was Asuka... But why?

_You love her, Judai._

"No, it's not that-"

"Not what, Judai?"

Judai jerked, and turned around to face the beautiful Obelisk Blue student. He hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud. "Asuka. What are you doing here?"

Asuka smiled. "I was going to ask the same thing of you. Do you come outside in the middle of the night often? You're not dueling anyone tonight, are you?" she teased. She knew he wasn't. He didn't even sport his duel disk, something he rarely went without.

He cringed, as if she'd slapped him. "Um, no. No. I just... I just couldn't sleep, I guess."

Silence passed between the two, and the only sound was that of the humming wind. Asuka's smile slid off her face_. What's with him tonight? This isn't the Yuki Judai I know..._

So, um, why are you out here?" Judai asked finally, rubbing his fingers together nervously.

"I come out here sometimes to think," Asuka said quietly, gazing toward the crescent moon. "With Ryo, usually..."

She regretted these words as soon as they were halfway out her mouth_. Great, just give him the mental picture that you like Ryo as more than a friend. Way to go, Asuka._

Judai shifted his shoulders and forced himself to act neutral. After all, he had never told Asuka how he felt about her, how was she supposed to know? Even though Sho-kun mentioned that Asuka acted weird around Judai sometimes, Judai had never thought anything of it. He merely waved it off, assuming that she always acted like that...

"Oh. I see," Judai said casually, ignoring the painful thudding of his heart against his ribs.

_How do I tell her? How can I? She likes Ryo, that much is clear. And who can blame her? He's smart, an awesome duelist, an all around great guy... and what am I? An Osiris slacker. I may be a great duelist and all, but she probably wants more. Like a smart and great duelist, which Ryo is. Plus, he's good-looking, calm and cool... I'm short, a complete space cadet, and overconfident. Sometimes, anyway._

Asuka saw the weary look in Judai's eyes, something she rarely saw, and her heart sank. He was always so energetic, so... _adorable_... with his grin and his cocky demeanor. _What is wrong with you, Judai?_

"What's up? You look a bit..." Asuka hesitated._ Say it, _she commanded herself. "Depressed."

Judai forced his grin. "Depressed? Me? Nah. I'm never depressed." He forced a laugh. "Plus, why would I be depressed, Asuka? It isn't my grades, that much is sure. I don't care that I'm failing half my classes." He laughed again.

Her expression remained critical. He knew that she realized he was only pretending to be cheerful so he didn't upset her...

"Judai."

Asuka sat down on the edge of the pier next to him. As she did so, their arms brushed together, and an involuntary shiver was sent rippling through Judai's body.

"What's wrong? I want the truth," Asuka added sternly.

Judai looked out at the ocean again._ The breeze feels nice, _Judai decided._ Maybe it'll just whisk me off. Away from the pain and weight I feel..._

She waited, watching his expression change from the false brightness to the genuine weariness. _Come on, Judai. Please..._

"I just can't sleep," Judai said finally, leaning back. "Things running through my mind that I can't ignore."

Asuka paused before pressing him. "Like what?"

"Just... things."

He said it in a tone that stated that he didn't want to discuss it further, so Asuka respected that tone and remained silent.

They sat in silence again, this time for so long it felt like several hours had passed. With every passing second, Asuka became more worried about the silent Osiris boy. He was never silent. Even as he slept, he made noises and spoke. What was wrong with him?

_I'm going to figure it out, Yuki Judai._

_How can I tell you, Tenjoin Asuka? Would you laugh? Would you be embarrassed at the mere thought of it? Or would you be happy?_

The waves seemed to tell Judai the answer.

"Judai?" Asuka whispered.

"Yeah?"

"We should head back to the school. It's... almost dawn."

The light feeling in Judai's heart fell again. "Right. Yeah, we... we should." He made no motion to move.

She got to her feet, then looked at the boy sitting there, looking so lonely... So sad...

"Up we go, Judai."

She grabbed his hand, and pulled him to his feet.

She kept gripping his hand.

His heart rate increased rapidly again. "Ah... Asuka?"

_I have to say it, I just have to. Otherwise, it'll be a few more nights of no sleep and complete depression. The worst that could happen is that she calls you an idiot... and won't talk to you ever again. At least... then you won't have you deal with the weight of it anymore._

"Yes, Judai?" Her bright eyes gazed into his empty ones.

She's so beautiful.

"You're... so beautiful, Asuka."

Time seemed to freeze for them. Asuka looked back into Judai's eyes and was startled to see that they were filled with tears. "Judai..."

He shook his head. "No," he whispered, the tears giving way. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I thought that from the second I first set eyes on you. But... I thought you would never understand my true feelings for you, so I kept them to myself for so long, Asuka. I couldn't..." He choked on these words, and hung his head.

She gripped his other hand, and stepped closer. "I thought the same about you. I hid the feelings from everyone, well, because I was afraid of what the other Obelisk students would say." She laughed bitterly. "An Obelisk who was attracted to an Osiris... But... Please, Judai. don't cry... don't cry..."

"What about Ryo?" Judai whispered, wiping his eyes. "I thought..."

Asuka shook her head. "No, I like him as a friend, Judai. Nothing more."

Judai held her hands close to him. "Tenjoin Asuka, I love you."

She smiled, wiped a few stray tears from his face, and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was genuine and sincere, and both of them felt the burden of keeping their feelings secret from everyone else, and each other, lift.

"I love you too, Yuki Judai."


End file.
